Monday, October 29, 2012

Step three

I have been irritable and lethargic all day. Tough day to practice self-care where self-care does not equal isolation and/or escape.

I read a little out of this book and found the following paragraph on page 53:
When I first began recovering, I feared it was a brainwashing of sorts. Now I see that my life before recovery contained the brainwashing. This program has set me free.
Of course, my cynical much-yet-un-recovered self thinks that that is JUST the sort of thing a brainwashed person would say. Also of course, I can't exactly say that my life before recovery was anything like "free."

Progress not perfection, as they say. I currently am stuck with the feeling that any and all choices I may pick regarding anything will invariably turn out to be the "wrong" one, somehow, and so why even bother? I'm not going to get it "right" so I'll just, I don't know, do nothing and sink further into hopelessness and despair? Because that's logical?!

I absolutely love this thought:
"Patience means caring for myself and taking baby steps while I wait for something that is likely to happen. Procrastination means abandoning myself and doing nothing while I wait for something external that is unlikely to happen. Patience waits with courage, and takes the smallest baby steps, over and over. Procrastination waits in fear, paralysis, and inertia. Patience waits with belief in my effort. Procrastination waits for an effort by someone else."
- Susan from the FlyLady emails
 Patience in recovery! How crucial.

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