Monday, October 1, 2012

It wasn't until after I had already talked for several minutes about the things I like and do not like about my current phone that it occurred to me that perhaps he (the checker at Sprouts) was just making small talk. He had seen me using it as I waited in line, asked what kind it was and mentioned he needed a new one. Apparently that was all the prompting I needed. Maybe I need to get out more.

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Our downstairs neighbors are Korean and their daughter, Hope, attends kindergarten at the same school Val does. Today we were on our way to the pool and invited her to join us. Hope's mom and I get along as best we can but neither of us are very good at the other's primary language. As far as I can tell, Hope translates with about as much care and concern for accuracy as you would expect a five-year-old to have. We smile and shrug a lot and I imagine we each hope for the best, never quite sure if what we're saying is being fully or even partially understood. Today on the way to the pool, Hope observed, "I know Korean AND English," then she turned to Val, "do you know Korean?" "Nope." Val replied, then turned to me, "how come I don't know Korean?" I suggested Hope could teach her.

I hope my girls enjoy languages and pick a useful one to learn in high school. We live in such a diverse part of the world. So many of their friends are bilingual and it's such an asset to have. I'm jealous.

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This morning was difficult for me. Swells of anxiety, looming big and threatening and refusing to be ignored. I'm completely baffled as to how to care for myself during times like that. My toolbox is ever expanding. For the most part I try to conceal it from my children, or speak very simply about it, but this morning Elaine asked me a specific question and I mentioned something to her about feeling scared and I wasn't sure why. She stopped what she was doing to come over to me, touch my shoulder lovingly, look me gently in the eye and say encouragingly, "remember Mommy, God is with you." And then she gave me a huge hug and went back to playing.

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