Sunday, October 16, 2011

Shalom

People are fascinating. I could people-watch all day, any day - doesn't matter where, though I'm currently at Panera. Just fascinating.

A lot has changed since I wrote this post about being anxious. Most notably1: I have been able to eat breakfast, and on the mornings I don't, it's just because I'm not hungry.

This pleases my naturopathic doctor (whom I've seen twice now), who included "eat three meals a day" as part of my treatment plan. I'll see her again in three months. She's been enormously helpful in other areas, too, lest you think I paid hundreds of dollars only to have her tell me to eat more. I'm still anemic, but getting better. (Considering being Iron (wo)Man for Halloween.) The next area of focus is on my kidney health (trying to dissolve a stone) and then also finding out why my body is making a bunch of antibodies against my very own thyroid. I may have a gluten sensitivity, but we will try supporting my adrenals in the meantime and see how my blood looks in three months. "This [antibodies against my own body] isn't uncommon to see in people who are very hard on themselves," the naturopath offered. Well. No argument there. I'm trying to change that, though... except actually... I can't change that without my Higher Power's help.

Which brings me to perhaps the main reason I haven't felt panicked or anxious for a while - I'm going to a 12 step group! (Hi, Beck!) Co-dependents anonymous has been tremendously beneficial to me. I tried a few different groups and settled into one that happens to meet at 8 am on Sunday mornings (uuuuuuugh) but it's more than worth it because I love the people and it feels like home to me. The people that share and listen to me share week after week GET it. They KNOW. There's such relief and freedom to be me and be open and honest with my struggles when I'm surrounded by people who empathize. I have a feeling that working through the 12 steps is going to change my life for the way way WAY better. I'm ready to pick a sponsor and plan to contact her about that this week sometime. I hope she's able to do it!

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1Also very notable (and probably most surprisingly, to me): I haven't taken any anti-anxiety medication at all, though I called my doctor and she gave me a psych referral.

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