Mothers everywhere are always complaining that they can't even use the bathroom in peace. I would like to extend the complaint past mere lack of privacy and into the realm of bodily harm.
I was sitting on the toilet. Elaine was in the bathroom with me. Suddenly and without warning, she reached behind me and swiftly closed the lid on my back while helpfully exclaiming, "OW!"
Ya got me, kid. Now please go out.