Wednesday, September 16, 2009


So I'm paying for this great website with so many customizable options and here I sit on this template, not doing a thing to learn how to make this place what it's been in my head for, oh, maybe 8 years.

I also haven't uploaded pics to my computer for literally MONTHS. Why? Because my laptop is full and I haven't had time to plug in to the external hard drive and unload.

Have been anxious. Have been taking (very) small amounts of meds to good effect. Have been wondering how to become un-anxious without relying on meds to do it. I wish my anxiety was more of the productive, high-energy type instead of the paralyzing/sickening type. Have been wondering the difference between who I really am and who I want to be. Haven't done a very good job distinguishing that in the past and it's caused all sorts of problems in my head because if I want to be a certain way don't I just have to work harder and then it'll happen? Of course wrong. But now I'm anxious when faced with the possibility that I just might not be able to be everything to everyone. I KNOW. I'm working on it.

Very excited about a work-from-home possibility involving BOOKS (hence the excitement.) More on that soon.


  1. Dualism vs. Monism! Very interesting subject, for sure. I like it. Way to think deeply, I think that is the burden a lot of "happiness challenged" people have to bear, but it is worth it. It really is!

  2. Yeah, so basically that 3rd paragraph could have been written by me. As in content, not writing style. :) Sometimes it's just nice to know that someone else out there understands.