Saturday, July 18, 2009


Rough day. Especially for Val. Many out-of-control screaming sessions today (just Val was screaming, though I felt like it at times.) It's wearing on her, this being in limbo thing. I cut her slack where I think it's appropriate but there has still been a lot of screaming and flailing and even biting. *sigh*

I need to make more of a concerted effort to spend time with just her - talking, reading, playing. Now that she's talking it's pretty fun to carry on a conversation with her. Tonight she informed me that, "snickerdoodles make me happy."

Ugh. OK I'm typing with my eyes closed now because I'm too tired to keep them open.

Last night at the barn dance a couple at our table asked what Superman did for a living and then asked me if I had a job. "No, I'm a stay at home mom." Even as I said the words I felt like adding, "but I did work for several years at a really cool place that was relevant to my degree in biology." And I like taking pictures and writing and have a passion for documenting and preserving real-life sotries. Just because I'm a stay at home mom and the majority of my time is spent meeting the needs of my girls does not mean the only things I'm capable of talking about are potty training and sleep schedules and the best deal on kids toys or clothes. Often the conversation does go there, though, because it's an easy, obvious topic and who asks, "ok so what do you like to do OTHER than raise your kids?" I think it would take most moms by surprise. Very few would have a pre-formulated answer for that. (Ask me! Ask me!)

Why does it have to be phrased 'stay-at-home-MOM' anyhow? Why not 'stay-at-home-person'? I'm not saying I resent my kids or wish I wasn't a mom (though I have those moments too!) because I do think it's a huge responsibility and I am very excited and priviledged to be able to shape the lives of two little people who will become part of our future.

I guess I just wish it was more socially acceptable to say, "I'm a stay at home mom but right now I'd much prefer talking about anything other than that."


  1. I am just excited to know that, for at least one person, that QUESTION would be socially acceptable to ask! I'd LOVE to ask my mommy friends what else they like to do besides raising kids. Many times when I try to sway the convo away from kid-related issues, I get looks like "one day you'll understand, THIS IS WHAT'S IMPORTANT NOW."If we're ever hanging out, I promise to ask you that question.

  2. You could always say, "I work at home." ;)And then when they question further, you can say you're raising your kids, managing the house, and are so excited that it gives you an opportunity to indulge your photography and writing passions. :).

  3. I like "full-time mom," as it seems to describe the fact it is a full-time job and not one we ever leave behind... it tends to go everywhere with us.But I also feel like I have lost a lot of "me" since choosing to do this full-time. I have a hard time finding balance in my life, tending to be all-or-nothing, so that I either am fully present for my kids or I'm being a selfish "me-me-me" kind of person. (Probably a slight exaggeration, but that's how it feels from my skewed perspective.)

  4. I just finished this book called Mama's got a fake I.D. by Caryn Dahlstrand. While a few parts struck me as a teeny bit cheesy (maybe I just have an aversion to "Christian Women's" books ;-), I thought the overall message was great, and it totally address all those feelings of loving being a mom but feeling like you're more than a mom and wanting to be known as not "just a mom." Not sure if you guys are going to be in the bay around Aug 6-7, but we'll be at my parents those days before we head up to Tahoe and it would be fun to see you guys!