Friday, May 16, 2008

Breaksushifast

I took great joy and satisfaction in delivering a pile of sushi to a friend who gave birth on Monday. She went the whole nine months without it (as did I, with Kem) and it's about time she enjoy a rainbow roll with plenty of sashimi to go with. I well remember how wondrous that first bite of raw fish with soy sauce and wasabi tasted. Mmmmm... sushi is such a great food for hot weather, too. Sushi is a great food, period.

Now that I'm hungry, let me tell you how little I've cooked this week (any wonder why?) Every time I sit down and prepare a menu and then go shop for all these healthy ingredients my plan gets foiled somehow. This week the heat has been unforgiving. To fire up my oven for any longer than 5 minutes seems unnecessary. Hopefully when things cool down I'll still be able to make my meals and get them in the freezer for later.

I've been learning so much in my weekly counseling sessions. Did you know that repressed and/or unresolved anger can be one cause of depression? Who knew? Not me. What I do know is that over the past few weeks it's as if I've been emerging from a fog I wasn't even aware I was in. (I'm not on anti-depressants. Yet.) I can't even really describe it - it's so strange. The farther I get out of it the more I look back and realize - wow - I was seriously not OK. If you had asked me in the middle of it if I was or felt depressed I would have said, "oh maybe, a little, but not really, no." I'm liking this personal growth thing. It gives me more hope than ever before and the possibility that maybe, just maybe, one day I'll actually like myself and stop the constantly negative inner tirade against myself.

One person who I like just the way she is, taking after her daddy and all, is this sweet kid:


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I have a picture of her then-19-or-20-year-old father doing the same thing at an ice cream shop in Niagara Falls... but it was taken with actual film and as I don't have a scanner I can't upload. You'll have to use your imaginations. But trust me, she gets this from her father. All of it.

2 comments:

  1. I am so glad things are moving in the right direction. I am praying for you! Did you know that 1 out 2 people struggles with anxiety or depression at some point in their life? I think it's nice to know that there are other people out there who know what it feels like. That's a pretty cute picture too!

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  2. Thank you for writing this post.

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