Thursday, April 10, 2008

Ready? Set? Stop.

I am the mother who doesn't do anything, I just stay at home and lie around. And if you ask me to do anything I'll just tell you I don't do anything!

Seriously? I think I finally have the baby blues. I had them 4 or 6 months after giving birth too but managed to stay in denial for most of it. Just kicked myself harder to get stuff done and pretended I didn't feel utterly overwhelmed and hopeless. Which I do.

If I wasn't such an extreme perfectionist it might be easier to live with a one-year-old. Flexible, go with the flow and living in the moment are three phrases that do NOT describe me. I need to work on that in order to save my sanity though.

Back in college I tried to live by a little mantra - make small decisions as if you have already been successful for the larger ones. They build on each other and before you know it, you've been successful! Steve Arturburn says, "do the next right thing" which is perhaps a more succinct way of stating the same idea. I get so overwhelmed by the huge giant list of things to do looming over me that I freeze and then don't do ANYthing, which makes it worse the longer I sit there. Baby steps, literally! Another slogan I used in college - even slow people get places.

Today was warm and so I put Kem to bed in a soft cotton pajama top/bottom set instead of the usual blanket sleeper. She looks like such a big girl in her short-sleeved thermals. She still sleeps like a baby most of the time, on her tummy with her arms curled under and her knees pulled to her chest with her little bottom in the air... but sometimes when I check on her she's sprawled out on her back or side. Will I ever get tired of tip toeing into her room to watch her sleep? Her face is growing up too. She's quickly becoming my little girl. I'm still nursing and I know that if I wanted to wean her she wouldn't fight it. We're down to only a couple times a day. I don't think I'm ready to wean.

I don't think I'm ready for a lot of things.

4 comments:

  1. Definitely a great header! Motherhood: One minute at a time. You're doing a wonderful job. "weeping may endure for a night, but joy cometh in the morning."

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  2. I thought about you last week while I was listening to Focus on the Family. I don't know if you were able to catch the program, but I was curious if you agreed with Dr. Dobson's take on not allowing girls to play with Barbies.

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  3. I don't know if I'm ready for a lot of things either. But for me, I think that has more to do with the whole graduation thing rather than weaning a child. =)

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  4. Love the new header. And I think you're doing a fine job with both the redesign and motherhood. Chin up, Beck!

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