Friday, May 11, 2007

Hip mama

Went shopping for pants today. Have decided to wear only elastic-banded, below-the-knee skirts from now on.

HOW COME NO ONE TOLD ME MY HIPS ARE TWICE AS WIDE AS THEY ONCE WERE!? I can see how you might not be well received but good golly!

We don't have a full-length mirror at our house and so it was a shock to see a full-length me at the store. My hips are twice as wide but have my stupid chicken legs filled out at all? Heck no. No baby weight gained there. Same bony knees as always, maybe even more so. I'm a big ol' gourd wobbling around on toothpick legs. Ugh.

It was twice as depressing because I am accustomed to eyeballing sizes on the racks to fit my pre-pregnancy body and am just beginning to gague what will fit my post-pregnancy body. So I inevitably chose pre-pregnant sizes to try on thus increasing the wailing and gnashing of teeth re: double wide hips. All I ask is to be proportional.

And I'll be 25 next month. That's so old. Twenty-five, married, and with a baby. When did I get so old? Since when am I a grown up? I have wrinkles on my forehead and it is not comforting to know that noses and ears never stop growing. I bet hips never stop, either.

Waa waa waa. Somebody call the waambulance. (For some reason I always hear that phrase in a Travis voice.)


  1. For some reason, I always hear it in a Jeremy voice. Also, no ranting about being old! Because then I'LL be old in a year and half, with NO baby! You are forever young, got that?

  2. Oh my gosh! I totally had a "Travis" UCI flashback! Remember that guy? On the bike?