The entropy levels around here are pretty high. Pardon me while I use this blog as a place to dump information that won't matter at all next week but will be nice to look back upon with a "oh I don't know what I was thinking; it wasn't THAT bad" attitude.
OK. The spitting up has me so concerned. It's obvious I'm producing quite enough for her and it's just as obvious that she doesn't know how to stop when she's full. So she empties it all over me and her and is starving hungry again and I don't know how much to give her because she always wants more. I burp her. It's not an issue of that it's just an issue of TOO MUCH MILK. So. Now we try something new that might work for one day or night only and then on to something else. I can't burp her after feeding because she still smells and hears and knows me and that I'm the one who gives her food and she will not calm down. So she screams on Superman's or SuperMIL's shoulder until she calms down and goes to sleep. I cannot stand to hear her cry but I know that giving her more milk (the only thing I do that calms her down) is not the right answer. My mother will return tomorrow and get either this version of life or a completely different one.
I feel so awful. I'm still not physically tired but the mental/emotional tiredness thing is so trying. Physically tired-wise this still feels better than finals week during college. Of course I haven't yet had to do all this ALL on my own yet so I'm sure the extreme physical exhaustion is coming. Ha. Oh goodie.
I am somewhat comforted by the fact that we're dealing with an issue of too MUCH instead of not enough. I will never be low on milk; there's no question of that. I don't know how to help her learn to regulate how much is enough. I know she's getting enough food because her wet/poopy diaper count has been above and beyond what the hospital said to expect. Babies need a little red light installed on their tummies that turns on and says STOP when they can no longer handle any more milk. Boobs also need gauges that provide you with little print-outs to let you know the rate at which milk is entering your baby.
I already cried so I guess now I try to get some rest.