Sunday, April 1, 2007

High entropy

The entropy levels around here are pretty high. Pardon me while I use this blog as a place to dump information that won't matter at all next week but will be nice to look back upon with a "oh I don't know what I was thinking; it wasn't THAT bad" attitude.

OK. The spitting up has me so concerned. It's obvious I'm producing quite enough for her and it's just as obvious that she doesn't know how to stop when she's full. So she empties it all over me and her and is starving hungry again and I don't know how much to give her because she always wants more. I burp her. It's not an issue of that it's just an issue of TOO MUCH MILK. So. Now we try something new that might work for one day or night only and then on to something else. I can't burp her after feeding because she still smells and hears and knows me and that I'm the one who gives her food and she will not calm down. So she screams on Superman's or SuperMIL's shoulder until she calms down and goes to sleep. I cannot stand to hear her cry but I know that giving her more milk (the only thing I do that calms her down) is not the right answer. My mother will return tomorrow and get either this version of life or a completely different one.

I feel so awful. I'm still not physically tired but the mental/emotional tiredness thing is so trying. Physically tired-wise this still feels better than finals week during college. Of course I haven't yet had to do all this ALL on my own yet so I'm sure the extreme physical exhaustion is coming. Ha. Oh goodie.

I am somewhat comforted by the fact that we're dealing with an issue of too MUCH instead of not enough. I will never be low on milk; there's no question of that. I don't know how to help her learn to regulate how much is enough. I know she's getting enough food because her wet/poopy diaper count has been above and beyond what the hospital said to expect. Babies need a little red light installed on their tummies that turns on and says STOP when they can no longer handle any more milk. Boobs also need gauges that provide you with little print-outs to let you know the rate at which milk is entering your baby.

I already cried so I guess now I try to get some rest.


  1. Six weeks is when your mature milk comes in; by then you will be singing loudly / dancing on furniture / doing yoga while nursing. Sleep was the biggest obsession for us until we found the "Happiest Baby" DVD ( That said, I've adapted to 3-4 hours of sleep a night. I'd probably have a stroke if I got 8 full hours.I'm also sending you hugs because the first 6 weeks is hard: XXXXX. It gets easier.

  2. Oh, I can so sympathize with you. My little girl did exactly the same thing. She was such a good baby untill she started the spitting up thing at about 3 or 4 weeks old. She would do it while I was nursing, too, like on the second side. I eventually learned the signals that told me she was getting too full and I needed to take her off. But, it sure wasn't fool proof. Sometimes I wasn't sure and I would let her keep nursing and sure enough, it would all come up. It seemed to happen mostly with the bedtime feeding, so that was especially stressful, because I just wanted to go to sleep and I worried she wasn't getting enough and wouldn't sleep very long. The worst is when it would happen when I wasn't at home. She would soak me and herself with spit up. She grew out of it by 3 months, which probably isn't a comfort to you right now. But, I think your milk supply will start leveling out and you'll produce only as much as she needs, so she won't overeat. P.S. I know you probably don't know me, but we are very distant cousins and I'm a very good friend of Dan & Cheryl B. My grandma and your grandma B. are like first cousins, or something like that!

  3. Breastfeeding can be such an infuriating guessing game, especially in the beginning! Things will even out soon and once your milk settles down Kate will be able to get just what she needs. The first few weeks are so hard, but you WILL get through it! It's such a blessing to have the love and support of family around to help you through the transition. I would have crashed and burned had it not been for my dear momma who stayed with us for the first 10 days. Keep on truckin'!

  4. It takes about six weeks for breastfeeding to establish and regulate properly. After a while that 'exploding' feeling will subside as supply and demand even out :) If you are pumping between feeds too this will actually increase your supply.I'm so happy for you guys. You have the perfect little family :)*hugz*

  5. Aw. I'm sure it'll get better, my dear. In the meantime, we're all keeping you and your new family in our prayers.